A Mustard Seed

On my computer monitor I taped a mustard seed.  I can look at it and know that if I have faith the size of a mustard seed that I can move a mountain.  It's very encouraging to me because the seed is so small.  Imagine if I had faith the size of a pea - I could do anything!  That's uplifting to me because sometimes when I think about going from a full time job to a part time job, I get scared, and I lose my faith that God is going to take care of me.  Even though he's brought me through the death of both of my parents, a divorce, and raising two children as a single parent, I still doubt.  So I taped the mustard seed to my computer so I can constantly be reminded of how big my God is and how He is always faithful to me

It's My Mouth

There's a lot of whining going on, a lot of poor me, a lot of anger.  Not too much gratitude.  What happened?  I started this blog to document my attempt to curb my tongue and capture my thoughts and what I've discovered is that I've spent a lot of time bashing others and whining.

I got put in my place on Friday by my bosses and it's just what I needed.  It opened my eyes up.  They made me realize that I am headed down the wrong path.  And it's my mouth; it's my heart; it's my attitude.  I am not the great employee that I thought I was.  My servant's attitude has been lost.

The good news - I can start again.  But now I see that it has to start with my heart because what's in my heart is what comes out of my mouth and what comes out through my fingers.

Bubbles Bursting

This morning I made the commitment to only speak positive words.  I kept praying about it and did very well until 4:00 pm.  A little background - since January 1, 2005, I have worked full time at my church as the secretary.  I make a decent salary and I get money to help me pay for health insurance and retirement.  I get three weeks of paid vacation and most federal holidays off.

This afternoon I met with the Elders of my church for what I thought was an employee evaluation.  Instead, the Elders told me that they were cutting my hours back to 20 hours a week and cutting my salary in half beginning April 1st.  I was shocked, completely caught off guard, and when the Elders asked me if I had any questions, I responded with, "I don't have anything to say."  When I got home, I cried and told my sister and my kids what had happened.  I will give myself credit for staying pretty positive; I do remember saying that the Elders had thrown me under the bus.  I don't remember much of anything else I've said tonight.  I remember saying that I wanted to stay positive.  I do know that I didn't curse, yell, rant or rave.  I didn't call anyone names.  I went for a walk and prayed.  I think tomorrow will be a bad day and I will have to be mindful of what I say.

I never thought that my job at the church would be in jeopardy or that I'd have to think about finding another part time job.  I dreamed of retiring from the church.  My bubble has been burst.

I Don't Get No Respect

As I'm moving forward, I find myself stuck in a quagmire of anger and hurt; this is a dangerous mix, especially when I'm trying this year to capture my thoughts and keep my tongue under control.  I can only say that over the past couple of days, my tongue has won the battle.  I'm not giving up, I know I've been forgiven, and I know that I'm making progress.

I wish, no, I want respect; I want the Elders at my church and the members of the congregation where I serve to respect me.  I want my children to respect me.  There are a lot of "I's" in this post and as I've been told before, it's not about me.

I'm calling this blog "A greatful journey."  Maybe I need to remember what I'm thankful for - 

• a home with a mortgage payment that I can afford.
• a job.
• a two year old car, which is paid for.
• money in savings.
• two children who love me.
• my dogs who love me unconditionally.
• a Savior that loves me and forgives me
• enough food to eat.
• a warm house to sleep in.
• warm clothes to wear.
• cable TV & internet
• friends and family who love me.

Idioms With The Word "Tongue"

It's been a couple of days, but I've been thinking about the way that we use the word "tongue."  More specifically, I've been looking at idioms with the word "tongue.

First, you have to know what an idiom is:

idiom - 

a group of words established by usage as having a meaning not deducible from those of the individual words (e.g., rain cats and dogs, see the light ).

Here are some of the idioms I've heard in my lifetime:

 

Bite your tongue - Biting your tongue extremely limits your ability to form words and to speak. So when someone tells you to bite your tongue it is because you should be stopped from saying something you may regret later.

Hold (one's) tongue -To be or keep silent.

 

Slip of the tongue - an error in speaking in which a word is pronounced incorrectly, or in which the speaker says something unintentionally.  

Tongue-lashing - a severe scolding. 

 

Sharp tongue - an outspoken or harsh manner; a critical manner of speaking.

 

Keep a civil tongue in your head - (slightly formal) if you tell someone to keep a civil tongue in their head, you are telling them to be polite, especially after they have said something rude (often an order).

Tongue in cheek - if you say something tongue in cheek, what you have said is a joke, although it might seem to be serious.

 

On the tip of one's tongue - [of a thought or idea] about to be said or almost remembered. 

 

 Speak with a forked tongue - to tell lies; to try to deceive someone. (I remember this one from western movies that I watched as a kid).

 

All definitions from www.freedictionary.com

The Will of God

At church and at the NBC (neighborhood bible class) that I attended today, the topic was the "Will of God."

Matthew 7: 21 - 23: "Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord,' will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, 'Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name drive out demons and perform many miracles?'  Then I will tell them plainly, 'I never knew you.  Away from Me, you evildoers!'

Only he who does the will of my Father will enter the kingdom of heaven - Jesus' own words.  For me, this is a scary verse, because if I'm not doing the will of God, I won't enter heaven.  It made me stop and think, "Am I doing the will of God?" and how do I know that I'm doing the will of God?

I believe that the Bible is my guide book.  There are commands in the Bible - love the Lord with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind; love your neighbor as yourself.  More than that though, the Bible is a book of principles, and I believe that I can discern God's will for my life through study of His word and fervent prayer.

I have to admit that, sometimes I make decisions, and then pray for God's will to be in line with my will - that's backwards.  And, it's not just the big decisions that I need to pray about.  Maybe there really aren't any small decisions.  I need to talk to God on a daily basis, without ceasing (very hard for me) and in that way, I can know that I'm doing God's will.

Fruit of the Spirit

Galatians 5:22 - 23 defines "the fruit of the Spirit as love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  Against such things there is no law."

When I think about my word, "tongue," I think how much more Christ-like I could be and how much less trouble I would have with my tongue if I truly exhibited the fruit of the Spirit in my life.

1. love - agape love is selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional.
2. joy - the settled assurance that God is in control in every situation.
3. peace - freedom from disturbance, quiet, and tranquility.
4. patience - quiet, steady perseverance.
5. kindness - the practice or quality of being kind (of a friendly, generous, or warm hearted nature.
6. goodness - moral excellence, piety, virtue
7. faithfulness - love hanging on (love this definition!)
8. gentleness - meekness: restraint coupled with strength and courage.
9. self-control - mastery over mind, body, and mouth

Look at these definitions; I love the words used to define the fruit of the spirit.  I love the strength and solidness of these words.  I don't have to be in submission to my tongue; I can have mastery over my tongue - perseverance, mastery, restraint coupled with strength and courage - powerful.

OUCH! What do I say?

So, this morning while on Facebook, my feelings were hurt terribly by someone I love - by an act of omission.  Ouch! Hiss! What? thoughts were running through my mind.  What do I say?  My first instinct was to retaliate, to write a scathing public rebuke.  But then I remembered - capture your thoughts before they reach your lips, or in this case, your fingers.  Backspace is a wonderful key.  Take a deep breath, thank Jesus for strength, and try to move on.  My goal, just for today, is to let go of my hurt, not to chew on it.

Capture Your Thoughts Before They Get To Your Lips

My mouth - what a trouble maker!  Sometimes I wish I could just put a piece of duct tape over it.  Even better, I wish that I could capture my thoughts before they escape my lips.

I found this really cool idea on Pinterest.  You take one word and study and meditate on it, write your thoughts, scriptures, sermon notes, and quotes about that one word for the year.  This is perfect for me, because I know what my word will be - "tongue."

I have struggled with my mouth all my life and even though I am a baptized, bible believing Christian, out of my mouth comes curses, sarcasm, hateful words, gossip, lying...hard to believe that a "Christian" has that problem, isn't it?  Thankfully, I recognize this weakness in myself.

But maybe, just maybe this year, instead of taking baby steps, I can make real improvement in the way that I think and the way that I speak.

If you want to try this for yourself, visit forthefamily.org; all the credit goes to them.

My Journey Begins

A new year is always a time of reflection.  It's a time when many people make resolutions.  I don't know if I really have any resolutions.  I do have some things I want in 2014:

1. to listen, really LISTEN, and not just hear
2. love AND respect from my family
3. to capture my thoughts before they leave my lips
4. to touch everyone I meet with a positive attitude
5. to be more patient and understanding
6. freedom to be who I am and to be comfortable with who I am
7. tolerance (the ability or willingness to tolerate something, in particular the existence of opinions or behavior that one does not necessarily agree with)
8. peace - peace which passes all understanding
9. more knowledge
10. to be more spontaneous

I don't know how it's going to end up but that's part of the journey, isn't it?